Lonely out here...

So, the first few days after he left, of course I was a mess. And then things got a little easier there for about a week. But now, I feel like everyday is starting to get harder again. I mean, I just miss him. It's the little things like, not being able to talk at night before we fall asleep, not waking up to him in the morning and pouncing on him to get up with me, it's when I want to give bugboy to him, but he's not here to make him laugh and coo. I hate it. This time of the year is the worst for being lonely too. With the rain and cold, I feel like that's exactly how I feel. It gets to the point where I won't go out because it's such a pain to get myself ready, get the baby ready, run all the errands I need to, then get everything and everyone back inside and settled. It sucks. I really hate this lifestyle we live sometimes. I mean, I am extremely grateful to the military because it provides us with his career, a roof over our heads, food on the table, and of course money to have nice things, but sometimes the sacrifice outweighs the benefits. I so wish things could be different, had gone different, or would ever go the way we plan. But that's not this lifestyle, and while I would never give my husband up because I hated his job, it doesn't make times like this any easier.

So sorry about my tangent there. I needed to get that off my chest. I know there are thousands of other wives, mothers, sisters, fiances, and girlfriends who go through exactly what I'm going through now. At least we can all stick together.

So after some long thought, and many hours on the phone with a number of different people/companies, I finally buckled down and switched my plane ticket to an earlier date, so the bugboy and I can get out of here. I know I could survive out here with him by myself, but I want to be with my family and support system. And there's no reason I shouldn't. Granted, it's costing me quite a bit of money to do so, but it's worth it. Things will be easier for the both of us. I will get time to myself, and he will get to meet his family, and we will still have each other without the hard days being so...hard.

The one down side to this is that I cancelled my ticket to see my in-laws. We were going to visit them too while hubby is gone, but I don't feel as though I could emotionally handle them without him. They really are wonderful people, but I need support, strength, and people who understand me and what I'm going through right now. They just don't. His family has never been who I go to when I cry, or who I go to for advice and strength. They just don't get it, and I don't think they ever really will. Which is strange, because with my husband being gone, you would think they go through the same things I do right? But it's almost as if he and his family just detach from each other until they see each other again. It's like they don't think about each other, or call, or really anything. I'm sure they do, but they just handle things very differently than I do. Which is why I think going out to see them would just be a disaster right now. I want to wait until I get this whole being separated from my husband because of the military thing down a little better. And that probably won't come for a few more times.

Anyway, I guess that's it. My little man is already over a month old, and it simply amazes me how much he has grown, learned, and changed over the time! It's crazy how the time flies, and I feel like tomorrow I will wake up and he's going to be ready to leave, get married, and start his family already. Scary thought. So I'm taking in every minute I can with him, and love him more than he will ever know. Same with my husband. I can't wait until Christmas time, I hope he gets to come home to us. I miss him.

It's definitely fall...

So it's been a disgusting day with rain and wind and cold. Thank goodness I got everything taken care of yesterday. So today will be a slouch on the couch kind of day.
Bugboy had a bath today! I'm beginning to think that he may actually enjoy them. He got all sorts of happy right before. Did fine through the bath, and then passed out right afterwards. He is so angelic looking when he sleeps. Babies are amazing creatures. Of course today has been a good day so far between us, which is much better than last night.
Which brings me to..why is it that whenever my husband is away, everything seems to fall apart? I could swear I'm losing my freaking mind being so forgetful with everything. Bugboy has been more fussy than usual. Not to mention, my emotions have been on the fritz since giving birth and not having him around to help. Sometimes I wonder how I make it through to the end of the day.
Still trying to find a solution for the cat so that I can maybe possibly go to Hawaii and stay with my family. No luck yet. I may end up being stuck here, which I know I could get through, but it's going to be harder than hard and I think it's a healthier decision for both buyboy and I to go.
In other news, I was looking around online today reading about newborn babies and got excited to know that all the developmental milestones they say a newborn should hit, my little bundle of joy has! He is such a smart guy! I am so proud of him. He is learning to focus on faces and voices, he smiles a special good morning smile just for me in the mornings, even if it's only for a second, and he is learning to hold his own head up and roll over on to his sides and stomach. Granted it doesn't seem like much, but everyday he is growing bigger, getting stronger, and developing. It makes me happy, and helps me get through the tough times with him.
I also, am happy to say that after investing in a Baby Bjorn carrier, things have gotten a little easier. SO glad I made that purchase. It will be great at the airport for trips and stuff. He HATES being put down or being by himself, so it makes life a little more bearable. Although yesterday he slept so long that I was able to finish all the house chores. Let me tell you, that was amazing! Of course, all that came after a couple hours of crying, fussing, and screaming. Those are the times when I wish Daddy was here to help.
I miss you darling. Another day down. Even if the time is creeping by slowly, it is going by. Every sunset leads to one more day closer to you.

Roller Coaster

So we have now made it through a few days with Daddy being gone. And let me tell you, they have been up and down like nothing.
Yesterday I took bugman to some Halloween shindig they had at the base. Not very exciting. And it wasn't like they had anything for newborns either. It was mostly for kids who are a bit older. But I got to go with Berta and it was nice to see her and get some adult interaction. I could swear my vocabulary is going by the wayside with only a baby here to ooh and ahh at. LOL.
After that, the day was pretty horrid. Bugboy cried the rest of the day, and I was completely exhausted from a lack of sleep the night before. So we had a rough day. I called my mom and was pleasantly surprised at her and my dad offering for me to fly down there and stay with them. I really REALLY want to, but I have no place to keep the cat for that amount of time and I kind of feel like if I can stick this out, then when hubby goes to the boat next year, I will be better equiped to handle it. I can't just run to my family and stay with them every time he goes away.
Yet through all the days downs, today bugboy woke me up with a huge happy smile. And it's times like that which make my heart melt and make it easier to get through the days. I wish my husband could be here to see them, I know this is so hard for him too. But until he comes back, I will just have to keep sneaking the camera around and snapping pictures of the little man when he is being sweet and lovey.

I survived day one.

So it's been awhile since I posted here last. The bugboy is almost a month old! I can't believe how time flies. And how much different he looks since we brought him home from the hospital. He is so handsome! I'm so glad he looks so much like his daddy, it was what I wanted! He is growing bigger everyday, and has now got some what of a schedule in place. He is awake most of the day and sleeps well at night.

As for the title, well yesterday we dropped daddy off at the airport. He is gone for one more school before reporting the boat. Too bad this school is in another state, and he has to be gone for an upwards of 90 days. I won't lie, I cried the whole car ride back, and bugboy did too. And then I cried some more throughout the day. But I allowed myself only one day of crying and feeling sorry for myself, and we made it through.

So now that I've made it through the hardest part, saying goodbye, it's time to pull myself together and get through this. So I've been trying to get the days planned with fun things, trips, errands, etc. It seems to be working out so far. Not too mention, bugboy keeps me plenty busy with diaper changes, baths, playing, and soothing his cries. I thank God I have you little man, you are helping me keep my sanity, and I love you. And to my husband, I miss you every second of everyday, I know it's as hard for you as it is me, so I'm going to be as strong as I possibly can, keep a smile on my face when you call, and count down the days until you come back home.

Explanation

Wow, so my very first blog. How exciting! I guess I should take the time to explain the "familyofgarbage" first before everyone thinks we are some trailer trash out in a podunk town! Lol. My husband and I like to call each other "garbage" all the time. And now with the addition of the little man, we tell him that he has inherited our "garbage" so therefore he is garbage too. Some people might think it's mean to refer to a baby as garbage, but he loves it. And there is no harm in friendly teasing and name calling, in fact, it's healthy!
So there we have it, we are a family of garbage. I am garbage, my husband is garbage, and thus our son was doomed to be garbage as well. Lol, I guess it's a little hard to understand unless you live with us and share our sense of humor.
That's it for the explanation, I will post again later. :)